RIP, Enrico Pallazzo, Joaquin, logic

So after reading that Leslie Nielsen died on Sunday night, I spent the remainder of the evening enjoying his work on YouTube.
The tendency in these situations is to try to overstate the connection, but honestly, I can never watch somebody sing the national anthem without hearing this:

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Speaking hilarious tragedies, did anybody read Phil Rogers' Sunday column? He's jumping on the Jeter train and lists the White Sox as a "possible" landing spot:

White Sox: Realistically there's little chance they will get Jeter but the fit shouldn't be discounted out of hand. Alexei Ramirez, like Castro, is a rising star. But his original four-year deal ends in 2011 and he will become an expensive proposition starting in '12. If the White Sox signed Jeter, they could make a series of moves that would give them a chance to win in '11 and '12, the last seasons they could have their strong starting rotation in place.

Ramirez could be dealt, quite possibly to the Yankees along with a bad contract or two (Mark Teahen or Scott Linebrink and catching prospect Tyler Flowers) for Curtis Granderson and possibly one of the Yankees' two advanced catching prospects, Jesus Montero and Austin Romine. Then they could explore seriously another deal that has been discussed — Carlos Quentin to the Phillies for Raul Ibanez. That would give the White Sox an outfield of Juan Pierre, Granderson and Alex Rios, with Ibanez providing a Plan B if Dayan Viciedo doesn't grab first base.

First of all, any team that isn't the Yankees should be dismissed out of hand. But let's assume Brian Cashman says something that can't be unsaid about Minka Kelly, and Jeter gives up on the Yankees, so we have to give this a second thought. You need read no further than halfway through the first paragraph:

[Ramirez] will become an expensive proposition starting in '12. If the White Sox signed Jeter,

These fifteen words involvee wo shortstop scenarios. One is that the Sox retain Ramirez in 2012, and he makes $2.75 million in 2011, and $5-6 million the next year. The other is that the White Sox sign Jeter, who is angling to make a minimum of $15 million for that year. In Rogers' exercise, the guy making $10-12 million more is not the "expensive proposition." No, it's the guy under club control who is the problem.
There's less of purpose in taking that trade apart, but I will say that dealing Ramirez, Teahen and Linebrink for Granderson and Montero puts the Sox at -2, so we know it's a bad trade for the Sox.
This column comes a week after his Cubs-Sox SuperTrade, which was merely a clever way to make the tired suggestion that the Cubs and Sox should swap Jake Peavy and Carlos Zambrano. I almost want the Sox to make a trade just so he has something to do.
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In legitimate news:

Of all the moments in the Waldis Joaquin Era, I would have to say my favorite was when the White Sox claimed him from the San Francisco Giants, followed by his rejection of the claim to become a free agent.
And there's your sneak peek at the White Sox Outsider 2011 transaction log.