Usually I spent the first half of October reviewing the White Sox season that was, covering things like the best wins, the worst losses, the clutchest performances, so on and so forth.
The 2023 White Sox rendered most of those exercises pointless. It's not just that they lost 101 games in a season for the first time since 1970, but they spent most of the season oscillating between boring and pathetic. They didn't provide much of a reason to invest emotion in the team, so it doesn't seem like a great use of time to dredge up outlier moments for a team just because it's what I always do this time of year. Pnoles' grades for position players and pitchers pretty much do all of the work in reviewing what we subjected ourselves to.
Yet here I am, still sifting through Baseball Savant for the most extreme White Sox homers for 2023, even though the Sox were not defined by the home run. They only hit 171 of them, which was bad for 11th out of 15 teams in the American League, while White Sox pitchers served up an AL-leading 215 homers. They did not understand the most crucial element of the modern game, so it doesn't seem like watching some dingers accurately represents the experience of watching this team.
To that, I offer three counterpoints:
No. 1: Home runs are fun. Part of my job here is to provide tonal shifts, however I can find them.
No. 2: Home runs are valuable. And maybe there's some value in emphasizing what the White Sox should be doing, even if they do it way too infrequently.
No. 3: The two enjoyable position players owned the list. This exercise avoids valorizing subpar hitters. Instead, it focuses on the only player the White Sox can really build around, and it follows up on Tuesday's Kim Ng post with a heavy emphasis on the last mistake Kenny Williams made with the White Sox.
But before we get to the five longest homers, here are the honorable mentions for other reasons.
Shortest home run: Luis Robert, 311 feet on Sept. 23
The last of Robert's 38 homers was the shortest possible over-the-fence homer in the game, slicing just inside the Pesky Pole and into the front row at Fenway Park. In the Statcast era, all of the shorter homers all ended up in the same spot. The only difference in projected distance comes down to exit velocity or launch angle, and it's hard to see anybody beating Lorenzo Cain's 302-foot shot in 2017.
Highest home run: Seby Zavala, 41 degrees on June 6
At 320 feet, Zavala would've had the shortest White Sox home run of the Statcast era had Robert not eked ahead of him in the season's waning moments. Yankee Stadium's short porch in right field was the only ballpark in baseball that would've hosted this homer.
Lowest home run: Andrew Vaughn, 18 degrees on May 26; Gavin Sheets, 18 degrees on June 16
For whatever reason, both of these homers were hit on Apple TV broadcasts. Vaughn buggy-whipped a hanging Mason Englert changeup over the left-field wall at Comerica Park. Sheets' drive was more visually appealing, as he turned around a Bryan Woo fastball and split the right-center gap like he would a Par 5 fairway.
Fastest home run: Jake Burger, 118.2 mph on April 18
This was Jake Burger's four consecutive game with a homer, and he saved his most violent blast for last. He scorched Bailey Falter's middling middle-middle fastball into the left-field seats, and every time I watch it, I expect everybody around and behind the White Sox bullpen to flee. It was probably too cold to move. Only three players hit harder homers, and they're all exciting names:
- Ronald Acuña Jr., 121.2 mph
- Elly De La Cruz, 119.2 mph
- Matt Olson, 118.4 mph
Slowest home run: Jake Burger, 91.2 mph on May 14
You always hear pitchers praised for changing speeds, but nobody ever compliments hitters for doing the same. So congratulations to Jake Burger for owning a 27-mph gap between his fastest and slowest homers of the year, with this one landing with a feathery plop inside the White Sox bullpen.
Now we'll turn our focus to distance without changing the subject.
No. 5: Jake Burger
Date: June 24 | Distance: 445 feet | Exit velocity: 113 mph | Launch angle: 20 degrees
Speaking of range, Josh Winckowski, who served up Robert's Beautiful Disaster Homer in September, also left a sinker up for Burger to mash into the White Sox's fifth-longest homer of the year. It was another first-pitch assault, and Len Kasper was not ready for it.
No. 4: Luis Robert Jr.
Date: Aug. 19 | Distance: 447 feet | Exit velocity: 107.2 mph | Launch angle: 24 degrees
Robert's 33rd homer of the year benefited from the thinner air of Coors Field, and a pitcher in Matt Koch who continues to pound the strike zone to his personal detriment. He finished the year allowing nearly as many homers (seven) as walks (nine) over 38⅓ innings, and that's been the prevailing theme throughout his career (37 homers, 41 walks).
No. 2 (tied): Jake Burger
Date: July 28 | Distance: 450 feet | Exit velocity: 111.6 mph | Launch angle: 23 degrees
Once again on a first pitch, Burger picked dead center for this homer, clearing the digital Chevrolet ad placed on the batter's eye during an Apple TV+ broadcast. This was the Burger's 25th homer of the season, and little did fans know that it'd be his last homer as a White Sox.
No. 2 (tied): Luis Robert Jr.
Date: July 4 | Distance: 450 feet | Exit velocity: 111.7 mph | Launch angle: 24 degrees
The uniformity of the outfield stands at Guaranteed Rate Field makes it hard to separate a 420-foot homer from a 475-foot blast, so I appreciate when hitters give some other memorable indication that they've supercharged the stadium. This was the one where Robert, after bludgeoning a Chris Bassitt cement-mixer into the left-field bleachers on Independence Day, paused in the batter's box while staring at his hands as though they committed some unimaginable crime. Happy birthday, America.
No. 1: Jake Burger
Date: July 16 | Distance: 461 feet | Exit velocity: 113.5 mph | Launch angle: 21 degrees
The White Sox's longest homer of the year did not cause the ballpark to erupt, because he hit it in Atlanta instead of Chicago. This one also seemed to leave a little doubt off the bat, because Burger challenged the deepest part of Truist Park with a line drive, and Michael Harris II immediately bolted in the direction he thought he needed to go. After about six steps, Harris conceded the homer, because he would've had to close about 80 feet of distance in 1½ seconds, with an eight-foot wall in the way and a dozen rows of outfield seats in the way. That's what backspin will do for you.
If you're curious, Robert and Burger went on to own the eight longest White Sox homers of the season, split four apiece. Elvis Andrus of all people finally broke the streak with 439 feet on Aug. 18 in Colorado, followed by Vaughn (437 feet) and Zavala (435) before Eloy Jiménez finally enters the picture.
